Officially a Narcissist.

Well fine, maybe not entirely. But I am definitely officially self-indulgent here, to say the least. I'm writing purely for me tonight, because today was not sweet and sugary and fuzzy, but I feel better when I write. It was one of those days where you feel like a passive actor in your day -life and the world is happening at you, and you're not really sure how much a part of it you really are... essentially a "matrix" episode. Isolated. Lonely. But not lonely in a superficial kind of way. Lonely as in existentially lonely. It happens like it just is, not like there's something you should be whining about or feeling sorry or anything. Just all detached, like it's all outside of you. And you are apart and separate from the world. And you wonder whether it changes if you weren't there because you're an observer anyway, you're not really all in it. And then you wish you were somewhere else entirely. Somewhere warm and sweet and salty from the turquoise-opal waters of a very special lake in Turkey. Or maybe those yet to be discovered nooks along the Mediterranean.

And also, McLennan sucks during the week. I know I was all bubbles and sunshine about it after such a serene, awayish kind of experience last Friday, but I take it back. Too many kids. Rampant immaturity and drama everywhere you turn... like even when they're "studying", the childish undergrad drama runs amuck. Seriously. It's McGill's Lamont. And if you knew me at all during my Harvard days, then you know how I feel about Lamont ("vom"). But this just means I need to find McGill's Widener. I'll try the Law School library on Wednesday I think. Maybe.

Oh and our house is leaking. Like the roof can only take so much ice before water just leaks through or something to that effect. Basically my sister's room is a bit of a wet mess. Yes, it's true, I'm not the one who has to deal with it. Even she doesn't have to since she doesn't live here during the year. But that anyone should have to deal with it is pretty much not such a good deal.

Anyway, I should go back to studying Insulin Action... and so I will.

p.s. my dad thinks this feeling of "detached loneliness" is a symptom of Vitamin D deficiency due to lack of sunlight exposure. thoughts?