Nostalgia, Fatigue, Stream of Consciousness.

It has grown cold and windy. Sometimes there's ice, sometimes there's snow, but more often, rain of late. Makes me miss Cambridge like crazy. Also I spent an hour on YouTube yesterday watching clips of Harvard a capella (mostly the Veritones, not gonna lie). These two are my faves (unfortunately stellar Kuumba hits were not to be found... at least not by me!):

Veritones: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHPsoV06QIY&feature=related
Din & Tonics: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgY8Y1owNt8&feature=related

The sun rises when I'm already on the bus on the way to school and feels like it sets shortly after lunch (it probably sets around 4:00 in real life). I have been craving sushi a lot lately. And chocolate, poutine and romance. I guess the last one is probably normal around this 'holiday' time of the year combined with the fact that our current unit is "The Life Cycle" -yes, it is the sex unit. Shout out to P. Ellison for teaching some mad solid reproductive endocrinology in evolutionary biology (bio anthro) a couple years ago -it is serving me well here.

But actually, I guess I am tired at last about talking about med school. Life outside of med school feels like, I don't know, coconuts growing on pine trees in the dead of winter, in Quebec. Rare. And wonderful. I'm sure I'll want to talk about it again at some point in the not-so-far-away future, but not now. I am tired now -my absolute refractory period for studying after taking an exam seems to have lengthened. I want to sleep a lot, I don't like waking up, but I love eating. I recently saw the new Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman (sexiest man alive indeed!) movie "Australia" -highly enjoyable. I am a "co-overseer" (read: co-pres) for the McGill Osler Society, "dedicated to raising awareness of the medical humanities", specifically responsible for finances (thank you WorldMUN for stamping me permanently with a "she is a legit money guarder" sign in all subsequent extra-curricular involvement ;), and helping organize the weekly lecture series.

I am going swimming later this evening and look forward to reuniting with a much missed "killer 8". This is Take 2. Take 1 was unsuccessful in setting up any kind of routine when I subsequently fell quite ill. But Take 2's a winner -I can feel it.

I need a haircut. I miss my sister very much -can't wait till she comes home. I want to read for pleasure. And I would like to spend a day watching movies with a common "theme" -like all Meg Ryan, or made in 1993, or nominated-but-did-not-win an Oscar, or starts with the letter "G", or has the word "after" in the title. I also would like to cook a very elaborate meal. Like a seven-course dinner or something for some people I love, and then play 'Taboo' or 'Pictionary' and have someone else make the same "When Harry Met Sally" reference that I would be thinking about and yell out "Baby- Fishmouth!" and then we would toss our hair and eat some shrimp and olives, and laugh so intensely it would be mute laughter.

Well that's a nice thought. But for now, back to catching up on that lecture I skipped yesterday morning in the name of sleep and sanity.

Medtertainment in the Midst of Studying...

I have a renal-resp-cardio final exam in 2 days. So no, this is not a real post. I will post 'for real' sometime next week -there will be plenty to talk about! For now though, a glimpse at some quality 'medtertainment' of late... even if you have not been to/never will go to medical school, they are enjoyable. Some good witty fun.

Cardio is Sexy: http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=GVxJJ2DBPiQ
Breathing is Dreamy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kP2OuZ_vI_s&feature=related
Kidney Stone Dance: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DFfPWerPvBs&feature=related

Back to the books...

Changing World. And Yesterday's Thoughts on It.

When I say yesterday, I am not trying to poetically refer to the past or history. I mean, yesterday quite literally. There was an urge to write, so I did it on a piece of paper with a pencil at Starbucks.

Just before I relay that entry, I wanted to tell you that today, as a volunteer with Project Genesis (which I have discussed in previous entries), I accompanied the woman I work with to interview a nurse who works for Medecins du Monde for a mini-documentary she's doing on healthcare rights, etc. This nurse, through MM, which also has psychologists, a couple of volunteer doctors and probably some social workers, actually goes on the streets of Montreal with a small suitcase on wheels and a backpack, to deliver basic care (vaccines, UTI medicine, etc) out of a little 'clinic' to communities that have been marginalized by the healthcare system -mainly people who live on the street / street workers, prostitutes, and Natives/First Nations people. Really, it was amazing to hear about her story and heartening that there are actually so many people like her and so many organizations like this one in Montreal, that don't even exist in other parts of Canada. This is why I am proud to be a Montrealer.

Anyway, this was what I had to say yesterday (my thoughts on Obama's glorious win, and on delicious food).

Caramel apple cider is delicious. I don't think many people know about it or realize how wonderful it is, but really... apple pie in a cup. Life is good today, the world is sweet. Yes, I'm going on four hours of sleep, renal is kicking my ass so far and I don't feel like studying, but it's a beautiful, warm, sunny day in November. And last night Obama made history -first elected African-American President of the United States of America. The media at least keeps framing it this race-way. But it is really so much more than that, like charcoal-grey, thick, cottony clouds blowing away, out of the way, and beneath, the glow of a vibrant world with hope renewed all around. He is a man with a vision of peace, justice, alliances and prosperity for his people; he has spirit and his charisma is infused in every poetic world uttered, words that will move more than hearts, and, inshallah, will summon more than tears from the people's eyes -joy, hope and real, profound change. Not overnight of course, and not without many a grueling challenge, but slow, gradual positive transformation. It is amazing.

I have been wishing everyone 'Happy Obama Day' today, and I wish you the same. At the very least, you must concede that he is a reasonable, intelligent man who brings good will, which is refreshing in itself in American political leadership at the highest levels (I refuse to contaminate the manuscript of my soul with unworthy names, but we all know who I refer to here). And as I've said to many of my friends today, if our idiotic Canadian Prime Minister insists on kissing the Americans' ass, well, at least it's worth kissing now.

Speaking of kissing, I miss it. I also miss a capella and choir concerts, the Kirkland House JCR and courtyard, walking past Widener and Au Bon Pain in the morning, and concoting new culinary experiences out of ready-made dining hall food to the admiration and envy of my beloved blockmates. I was reminded of this last yesterday night in particular.

We had a potluck dinner meeting for Physicianship Apprenticeship that though fabulous, went a little later than I would have liked (from 6:30-11:30. yeah. for reals.). However, the company and conversation was great. And oh, the food! Copious amounts of baguette, Brie, Camembert, goat cheese and Swiss. Plentiful Italian red wine (no worries -water, jasmine and pear green teas were my choice of beverages). Bruschetta with pesto. Mixed greens with baby tomatoes, kalamata olives, bocconcini (tiny mozzarella balls) and balsamic vinaigrette. Green string beans cooked with tomato, garlic, sauteed onions and parmesan. Pasta primavera -fusilli with tomato, onion, zucchini, garlic and mozzarella. And to round out our Italian-themed night... butter chicken! Yup, one of my favourite South Asian dishes (speaking of which, after a 4-month-long craving, I finally managed to get some quality jelabi, which is an Indian fried sweet that is bright orange from sugar, lemon juice and saffron -really yummy). The butter chicken though -random, but impressively tasty. And for dessert: strawberries, pineapple and apple with dark chocolate fondue, and mango-peach sorbet swirled with vanilla ice cream. I know. No wonder it took five hours!

This week is very meeting-heavy on the whole though. But also fun plans with friends. Also, I did quite well on my respirology midterm (shukar), so the med school life is moving along. During Physicanship today we discussed homosexuality, heterosexism, homophobia and gender, in society more broadly, and in the context of the doctor-patient relationship. Very interesting, especially at the end when two patients talked to us about their experiences and answered questions. One was a 40-something married lesbian woman with three young children (sperm from anonymous donors), and the other was a 60-year-old gay man, from a Catholic-to-the-bone Quebecois family, who has been a teacher for forty years.

Anyway, time to catch up on that renal [I said this in the original entry yesterday, and it remains true today]. As they say on Grey's, seriously.

Taking a Breath: Real Patients, Real Medicine and Real Life

Yes, we have progressed from cardio to respiratory. Puns are not as lowly as you might think. They can even be witty. My gchat status has lately been alternating between "turbulent flow", "physiological dead space", "just dead space" and my latest one: "everybody needs a little TLC -that is "Total Lung Capacity"". I know. I am such a nerd (but you love me for it).

Anyway, this is a long post, so for your convenience, I have subtitles throughout so you can read only what you're interested in (and I'll save you the agonizing anticipation -there is no hot romance discussed below ;).

Cool stuff in the books.

So I'm learning about lungs, hemoglobin and partial pressures of CO2 and O2 lately. I won't bore you with any doc-talk (or med-student talk), but I will just briefly mention that respir actually does have a "really cool thing" analagous to the cardio "really cool thing" which was "Venous Return" (if you recollect). Basically, just like how the blood returning to the heart from the veins is one of the biggest determinants of blood circulation (rather than pure cardiac output), similarly, it is not low oxygen but high carbondioxide that decides whether or not someone is hyper- or hypo-ventilating (and other important things relating to breathing). It's always the counter-intuitive stuff that's coolest if you ask me. That is, counter-intuitive, but still understandable (unlike some of my lectures of late).

Brief meeting with 'Real Medicine'.

I recently had the following thought though: "Okay friends, med school was a fun adventure and I'm ready to go home now..." Except there is no home. This is home. And it is strange that the fact that this is my life and a lot more to come from now on, has only hit me now. Don't get me wrong, I am learning a lot, getting excited, getting bored, then excited again. I am still mainly starry-eyed about medicine -hopeful, momentarily discouraged, and then hopeful again. I pulled out my back, limped around for a week, and then healing and walking normally again, but during the limping around phase, I shadowed my former CEGEP orgo lab partner (who is now a Med-4) during his neurology clerkship. It was pretty awesome to visit patients with him, see a doc (well not technically I guess) actually do the reflex tests they always show them doing in kindergarten picture books, apply hand sanitizer 8 times in 20 minutes, do a little investigative work on uptodate.com, watch a "team" analyze CT scans of a stroke patient in radiology, and most excitingly: watching a real-live LP ("lumbar puncture" = spinal tap, the purpose of which was to test cerebrospinal fluid for encephalitis or menengitis) for the first time!

Keeping it 'Real': Life Pseudo-Outside the Med Bubble (okay, not really, but outside the book-worming bubble!)

This past weekend, I found out that I got the volunteer position I wanted with an organization in Montreal that advocates for public health care and immigrant rights, particularly fighting against a Quebec bi-law that denies healthcare coverage for newly-landed immigrants for the first 3 months. The organization -Project Genesis -also works with the local immigrant community providing various social services, advice (like helping find loop-holes in the law), etc. So I am looking forward to making my med school life actually mean something in the real world where the people live.

The noteworthy, traditionally heavily Med-1-attended Osler Banquet is coming up next week, and I have been involved in some small ways (like postering -Steiny and Chi, I finally know what your crazy postering lives were like -and some ticket distro next week right before). The guest lecturer is Richard Horton, editor-in-chief of the Lancet, who will be talking about doctors and their social responsibilities in a global health context. Should be pretty awesome. My Resp midterm is 2 days later.

Today I registered for MedGames, which is this:
Med students from across the country get together and compete in real sports like hockey, swimming and volleyball, as well as 'parasports' like DDR, Rock Band and Capture the Flag, and then 'bond' during various night-time social events. It is for a weekend in January, and every year is hosted by a different med school. Luckily for moi, the 2009 MedGames are being hosted by Universite de Montreal (UdeM), so it is just here at home, nice and cheap and convenient.

'Real Patient': First Official Clinical Encounter

I had my first official clinical encounter yesterday at the Royal Victoria Hospital, in our Osler Fellow's Hematology Department, a woman in her 40s with leukemia (sudden and acute -not the most optimistic prognosis) who was just about to have her first bone marrow stem cells transplant... what really struck me was a couple of things: firstly, she was super athletic and active and now suddenly has been bed-ridden in a hospital for 4 months. BUT it was so touching to see the amazing support system she has. 3 WHOLE WALLS COVERED in well-wishing, get well cards, family and friends by her side all the time (love was palpable in that room!). Also, the patient told such a wonderful story about how her brothers and sisters were all hoping that they could all be a match to donate their stem cells to her, literally "fighting over" who could give their dear sister their stem cells... and not only was 1 match found, but 2! Imagine finding 2 potential donors amongst sibilings of a stem cell recipient, when to find just 1 is a blessing. However, just as love was palpable in that room, so was the overwhelming sense of mortality, of feeling that life had been snatched away so quickly... imagine having to write your will when you're in your forties. That encounter will stay with me always I think. She is a beautiful person, and all medical reasoning aside, I will keep her in my prayers, my thoughts and my heart. I want her to be well. Too bad my wanting it that way alone cannot just make it be that way.

Right in the "Heart" of it: Cardio, Delicious Autumn Days

So, for the last 3 weeks, I have been learning all about the heart. Cardio is pretty awesome. Just had the midterm for it today -hopefully that went well. But I loved this first part of the second unit. I mean sure, it's just a pump -not a crazy, amorphous, mysterious brain or anything -but it is an amazing pump.

One of the coolest concepts, in my opinion, is the fact that venous return (which is the flow of blood from your veins back to your heart) is a stronger determinant of cardiac output (which is how much blood your heart pumps out and how fast) than almost any other factor. This is why if a patient has low blood pressure, giving them IV saline brings their blood pressure back up: you've increased blood volume in the veins, and thus increased venous return. Maybe this seems common-sensical to some of you, but I think it's amazing how learning about all this stuff teaches you to see medical "problems" and "solutions" in a completely different way. I mean, who would naturally think, "oh your heart is pumping too slowly/not hard enough, but if we give you fluid, we'll get it back up to normal". I'm telling you, these Frank-Starling people (the ones who said that cardiac output is equal to venous return, or put more simply, the heart will pump out what comes in)... geniuses.

Also, there are a ton of regulatory "reflexes" that we have, which really shows that our bodies are just really smart (most of the time). Like, why we don't faint everytime we stand up, or why atheletes have a lower heart rate than normal people, but this is okay, whereas if you're not an athlete and have a low heart rate, this could be very bad. Or what a heart murmur sounds like, and what it tells us, and when we should worry about it, and when it's okay. All those things we commonly "know", but don't really, really, really, fully, completely, understandingly know. And even the body's "stupidities" make sense, when you understand some of this crazy theory stuff (like venous return!) -I love medical school. And I am so happy that I am learning most of this for the first time now (rather than being "bored out of my tree", like some of the anatomy majors in my class).

This weekend is Canadian Thanksgiving. It is supposed to be a perfectly beautiful weekend and I am so excited for it -easy "hiking" at St. Bruno with my parents tomorrow, apple picking with some med school friends on Monday, catching up on sleep, movies, non-medical reading and writing. Even a couple of "chores". Met up with a dear friend after my midterm at this cute little place on Monkland, in N.D.G., called Gryphon D'Or. Tried it out a few weeks ago for high tea -Early Grey Cream tea, hot scones, Devon cream, lemon curd, fresh raspberry jam, cucumber and egg sandwiches, date squares, brownies, shortbread... delicious and non-pretentious -heavenly, really. So naturally, had to go back today, for Ginger Peach tea, scones, potato-leak soup and pleasant conversation. Today, I am in love with the world, the people in it, my city, and my life. I wish the same for you.

"Sophie"

Two very exciting things happened this week:

1) my favourite cousin/uncle has been in town and we have been catching up just about every day after school -that has been wonderful. so really, friends, come and visit me -it'll make my week =)

2) We started anatomy this unit (the post-first-final madness has begun!)... which means that I have started having labs with cadavers. I am holding nothing back because if only everyone could start to try to understand some of the mysteries of the human body, I think the world would be a better place. To try to understand, and to love your own body, your own person, your own mortality even, and to see it in others -even if only felt for a moment, should not be kept a secret.

The first encounter is pretty much branded in my memory (for now anyway). Tuesday, 1:30 p.m. I am nervous as hell. Walking up the last couple of steps to the second floor of Strathcona, my heart decides to take a little bounce on some invisible emotional strings, and I am surprised it did not lodge itself in my trachea. They told us that how we are with our cadaver, this former person who in death has become our first patient, will tell us a lot of how we will be with our future patients, what kinds of doctors we will be. That's enough pressure to give your heart springs, forget the fact that you will actually be using a scalpel (after today, I will have used both a 15- and 20-blade, forceps, bone clippers and my fingers, obvi) and cutting through human flesh.

We walk into a big room with over 40 bodies covered with forest green shrouds. I walk over to #39 -the one to which I was assigned, along with three of my peers. The Prof. does her demo and we watch on the screens and rise onto our tiptoes to see it "for real". And then, we remove the cover, and cut open the clear plastic encasement. I look at her hair and notice the grey roots, and short auburn-dyed locks, there is a cloth on her face, but I know she's a woman. Some of the others are not sure though (hey, obese and even overweight men might appear to have larger breasts, so this is not as obvious as it may seem). One of the lab techs comes around and pulls the green cover lower to "check" -yes, she is a woman... probably died about 60-something, but how is a mystery to us. Her abdomen is a redish-brown discolour, and her skin is tough and leathery. All I could think about was "What was her name?" I think they don't tell us for confidentiality purposes. Anyway, I am the first one to suggest a name for her. I am in awe of her. I want to know who she is, what she did, did she love, how amazing that she would donate her body to us, so that we could learn from her even in her death. She may not have been a teacher in real life, but to be teaching us now... Our anatomy Prof. is obsessed with telling us about the Greek and Latin origins of all the words we're learning, so I'm also remembering Greg Nagy's "Greek Heroes".

"I think I'm going to call her 'Sophie'", I say. It just felt right. Sophie from 'sophos' or 'wise' -like the greatest 'teachers' in history.

I made the first cut, going from the right-most part of the clavicle medially down to the sternum, then down the middle, and then laterally again from the sixth rib. I thank Sophie for what we're going to learn from her. You don't know how thick skin is until you know how tough it is to cut through it. It really is an amazing organ and no wonder it protects us from so many pathogens. I am not scared, and unlike some of the others, I do not feel badly or guilty for cutting -Sophie wanted us to learn from her body, including any mistakes along the way. It would be okay. I quickly learn how much pressure to apply so that I can penetrate the skin, without going too deeply, but also without going too shallow. I am completely focused -this is how I can honour her, to be fully present with her, and do my best by her.

We were supposed to peel off the layer of skin, but bright orangey-yellow adipose tissue (fat tissue) provides us with a challenge. It is tough to get through, and there is a lot of fascia, lots of connective tissue before you hit any muscle. As we make our way through it, I feel a sudden sharp jab on my left index finger, there is a slit in my glove and blood seeps out -one of my teammates has accidentally cut me. I am told to wash it under cold water and am given a Band-Aid. I had been so worried about cutting myself. How ironic that it should happen by someone else's blade. I come back and we are starting to see some muscle. We are all working systematically, more or less professionally, but it hits me here hard: it looks like meat. Just like red meat. Meat, meat. Human muscle. Meat, meat. The bones of the ribcage are shiny, covered in some kind of connective tissue. But the muscles -and we identify pectoralis major and minor, and the small muscles along the side of the rib cage, and a couple of nerves. And then we are done. Close up shop and wash the scalpels and forceps.

But all I can think of is how strange I feel in my own body. This human body, this human animal body. I keep running my hands over my skin, pinching it, making it tight. Does it feel like leather? And all I see is the meat meat that's inside, Sophie had meat meat inside. And all I can smell still is the formaldehyde, which reminds me of the meat meat inside Sophie. You don't realize the concept that humans are animals, just like other animals, so viscerally until you've seen it. We are so very mortal. So very, very mortal. And Sophie, in her mortal life, and in death, gave us this special, special gift -she did not know me, but she gave it to me anyway, she trusted me anyway, and taught me anyway -that we're all going to die one day, and that our muscles will look like meat, meat. And our 'who we are' will no longer be there, and if we all had the good sense of not only being helpful and useful in life, but to be useful in death too -to serve even in death -that is special indeed. I was such a daze. Did I even know what it meant to really make it count in this life and this world? Sophie, sophos. If it was ever possible to feel 'mortality', I felt it on Tuesday.

Whatcha' learnin' anyway?

I keep meaning to mention this and always forget whenever I post -to tell you the overall themes of what I'm learning in any given week. So, you should know that this week we've been learning about Cancer (the Big C -that's right, at the level of oncogenes, tumor suppressors, tyrosine kinases, and clinical experiences of practicing physicians).

We have looked at Skin (or should I say, "Integument", which is skin and its appendages -i.e. nails, hair, etc. -which we have been particularly examining in a histological context -read, "labs where we look at tissues under microscopes", as well as "why/how tatoos work", "how hair regrows your skin after a 3rd degree burn", "what happens when you get goosebumps", why Collagen is the shiz, and of course how all of the above can be related back to, as our professor put it, "all the great sex you're having").

Embryology continues (as always -one of my faves, I have to admit), and we start on Nervous tissues tomorrow.

Also we have been studying genetics / epigenetics (like if this male has this disease, what is the probability that his parents were carriers -varies whether the disease is sex-linked or not -and what is the probability that his aunt and cousins will have the disease; and if he marries someone whose family history is totally unknown, then based on the population statistic and combined with the "penetrance" of the disease, what are the odds for his 3-kids to-be?).

Yeah. For reals. I can't believe our first final is next Friday. Allegedly, of our 95 multiple-choice Qs (of which none are -thank goodness -"type B" multiple choice questions -these are the multiple-choice-within-the-multiple-choice types: Blablabla. Statements 1,2,3,4. A: 1,2,3,4 B:1 and 2 only C: 2 and 3 only D: None of the above -I hate these) -some are bozo-easy, and others to quote the unit 1 director "rival War and Peace" -yes, this is a Tolstoy reference. Yes. Doctors apparently read Tolstoy (or at least know how long and complex it is!)...

Red Carpets and Firemen: T Dot Break

For those of you who are not down with the Canadian abbrevs, T Dot (or T. or T.O.) refers to the great rival city, Toronto. I was there this past weekend visiting some very good friends whom I had not seen in 3 whole years! The occasion now was for a 25th surprise birthday part which was a huge hit and an amazing experience (picture this: a city scavenger hunt via limosines, meeting up with mutual friends whom I also had not seen in a long while, hovering around the Red Carpet of the Toronto Film Festival, and seeing Deepah Mehta, almost seeing MJ Fox, Brian Adams, James Cameron and Steve Nash -we missed them by 15 minutes! -taking a photo inside a firetruck and having a really hot fireman ask you for a kiss... does it get any better than that? actually, it does -the company was fabulous throughout, and the food delish -my friends know how to eat! Remember this for life: if you don't enjoy food, spectacularly yummy food, we can't hang out anymore).

So... totally worth the 7-hour bus-ride each way.

Also, today I had the most amazing coincidence, running into an old friend that I had been thinking about this past week, when I was on the third floor of Mac Med ("Mac" being local shorthand for the McIntyre Medical Building at McGill). We will hopefully have tea soon (though not bubble tea, which I am still craving and missing very much).

I watched "House" for the first time this evening. No verdict yet -but leaning towards "I think it's kinda dumb".

By the way, I never actually kissed the fireman. Probably my biggest regret of the weekend. But let's be serious, this weekend had very little regret at all on the whole -a nice, escapey break indeed!

On a related note though, I've been trying to work on a new short story for the last few days and it's been so hard actually getting the time I need to write -so frustrating, because I started it and am in love with it already and just want to finish up the first draft already! Oh well, lots of cool meetings and more free lunch (tomorrow) this week to look forward to... and 3 histology labs 3 days in a row starting Wednesday. I know. Woohoo.

Rising Up

The title of this post is inspired by Yves Larock: "My dream is to fly, Over the Rainbow, So High..." -what a fab song, and he doesn't say much more than that (he does say, "Rise Up" though, surprisingly). Also, I am loving my new Dell XPS M1530.

Ah, indeed. I have survived Week 1. I have made some 'core friends' and hope to continue doing so -it's too soon to be hitting the 'meeting new people' plateau. I have adjusted somewhat to the idea of many hours of class in a day, and the idea of 19 Lectures in one week. Also public transportation is really not that bad -I'm getting used to waking up at 6:15 a.m. everyday, and I thank the powers that be for having class start an hour later tomorrow morning -an extra precious hour of sleep (well, actually, I'm using it right now, let's be serious -I'd be in bed already if it weren't for the late start!). What am I learning? Biochemistry, Nutrition (fascinating!), Embryology -essentially, reductionist science combined with clinical correlates for the study of "Molecules, Cells and Tissues".

I promised a "character" story for this post: well, firstly, I have identified "that kid" in our class -I've been trying to feel sorry for her rather than get annoyed by her. Today was a scorcher in Montreal though, as one of my friends so aptly put it, "It's Sweat-ember weather" -30 Celsius (that's about 90 F, folks) -and our afternoon class was in Strathcona, which has no AC or significantly openable windows, so we were more or less lulled to semi-consciousness during lectures -the annoyance with "that kid" was thus mitigated.

The weather on the long weekend however, was perfect. Dad and I went hiking up Mont Tremblant -it's been years since we'd done that, and it was wonderful. Fresh air, quality exercise, such satisfaction when you reach the top (much better than if you just took the gondola up, and incidentally, we caught a free ride back down). I had some delicious la tire in the Tremblant village (a ski-resort village, not a rural thing), which is boiled maple syrup poured onto a patch of snowy-ice, which you then roll onto a popsicle stick. We had some St. Hubert chicken and chicken wings for dinner -so hearty and yummy. And the best part (well, false, the parts I already mentioned were the best parts): I didn't open a single textbook or med school notes binder the whole day (and night)! The best holiday, really.

Anyway, I should get to bed now, it's getting late. Tomorrow should be a fun day though -Physicianship and bioethics stuff -"break day" as some like to call it. Hey, there are only so many molecular pathways and enzyme mechanisms one can enjoy looking at in any given day (this is not true of sperm, oocyte and embryo diagrams, which I have been finding very interesting, despite seeming-redundancy and increasing complexity). Keep cool and don't stress, friends.

Getting Serious: The Real Thing

So today was the official real first day of med school. And you know, I think it went pretty well (inshallah, it will continue to go that way). I am so not used to waking up at 6 a.m. and taking 4 hours of class and 2 hours of lab, but embryonic development, biochem and histology were all quite good / enjoyable / manageable / review-esque. Lab professor is such a kick -you know, funny, retired doctor guy -even the quiz at the end was (brace yourself for the grandest display of nerdmanship in a while) Fun (this does not mean I aced it, obviously, but soon enough, I will).

The downside though is that when you're really doing school, you're really not meeting more new people. You're sitting in a big room all together... but that's about it. Oh well, I guess we have plenty of time to 'meet' each other later. I bought some textbooks today. They are heavy and expensive. Also, the Harvard Coop kicks the McGill Bookstore's butt (both in terms of books and merch). On a related note, the McGill undergrads began their Frosh today and as I was walking by the Roddick Gates during my hour lunch break, I noticed a modest table of seemingly grey and crimson Harvard T-shirts. As I read the "witty" (not really) line "Harvard: America's McGill" (which, incidentally, is supposed to play on the more common adage "McGill: The Harvard of Canada"), I received confirmation from the gods that my loyalties, in fact, have not yet been swayed back across this border. I remain faithful to my alma matter thus far, and continue to pine that familiar, beautiful campus and the people who made it so memorable.

I also had to get vaccinated (again) today -turns out that Hep B vaccine I took almost 15 years ago is only good for almost 15 years.

One element of a homework we have due on Wednesday is to make up a clinical case. I'm thinking necrotizing fasciitis (aka flesh-eating virus) -let me know if you have any thoughts.

Oh, and finally, for any chemistry buffs / majors in the readership (or people who have taken a chemistry class and thought, "this will have nothing to do with anything in real life"), you ought to know that even the inorganic chemistry you take (well, organometallic chemistry, which was taught to me in an inorganic class -chem 40 anyone?) will help you in med school. Today, on the official Day 1, who did I reunite with but our good old friend the heme porphyrin. And I recalled Prof. Betley's office hours and lectures with nostalgic fondness. Hey Porphy, I'm ready for you! (Wish I could say that quite as confidently for histology, which is the study of cells... a bit less exciting in theory, but hopefully a bit more exciting in real life.)

Well, Med World, here's to you! Bring it (just not too strong).

P.S. for those of you who prefer to read about the "characters" of this "world", I will try to spruce things up in my next post ;)

At the Threshold of Med World: FREE. And Fabulous.

Another blog entry so soon -who would have thought it! Just don't get used to it, eh. Well, the real reason is that too much has been happening in this whole new world and whole new life of mine these last couple of days, definitely taking many turns for the better which I felt I should share, especially after the anxiety conveyed in the last entry (thanks btw to everyone who responded with encouragement and other nice words -definitely contributed to the better general feeling!).

Well, so firstly, people have been asking about the cuties. Really, it probably just comes down to the pleasure of encountering new faces and personalities and being attracted to the newness of it all (have I euphemized sufficiently here?) Much to my chagrin, with respect for my affinity to order and control in my life, I have already developed a crush or two (I know, this is ridiculous, it has only been 3 days, but alas, the heart does not always listen to the mind, and it probably also has something to do with this approaching of my peak fertility years or something). Of course, I cannot write about any of these in detail here (one day we might become Facebook friends, and one day this blog may be visited by said crushes, and really, that would just be embarrassing).

Day 2 of med world orientation

So yesterday - -after acquiring some snazzy, high quality, and most importantly, FREE, schoolbags from the CMA (Canadian Medical Association) / MD Financial people (the perks begin early, believe it or not), much continued self-congratulation for being worthy of medicine, attending a few orientation sessions, including an introduction to Physicianship and having received our first homework assignment (in a similar fashion to the Math 1a/1b tradition of homework due on the first day of class), I acquired a McGill ID card. Yes, friends, I am officially a McGill student. So much so that today, incidentally, I joined the McGill network on Facebook, boasting over 30,000 members. Yeah, for reals. Later that evening I enjoyed a decent (and FREE) dinner at Le Prince Arthur with my fellow "Med-Dent Frosh '08" (this is what is written on our yellow wristbands which we are required to wear all this week) and really, our particular table was absolutely fabulous! Really, I think I've met at least some of who will be "my people" -good conversation, same excited positivity, similar interests (met a former MUN person, and someone who did work under a circadian bio dude in the T dot, and someone with a sense of social/moral/anthropological medicine, and all of them are cool with the H-bomb, and in a friendly-joking way, chastise my round-about way of attempting a soft landing with the H-bomb, as well as ask me to say "Pahk the Cah in Hahvahd Yahd") and values -recalling the first days of Harvard Dorm Crew Fall Clean Up freshman year, when I met some of my dearest peoples. It was the best, again FREE, 3-hour long dinner I've had in a long time. I was thoroughly pleased and went to bed with pink warm fuzzies in my chest cavity.

Day 3 Intro to Med World

Today - -I was up at 6:30 a.m. (each day has been earlier than the last this week, but today's start will be the norm beginning next Monday), and walking those hilly streets again by 8:00 on yet another gorgeous sunny but comfortably temperate morning -I think "crisp" would be the right cliche. Anyway, more Physicianship talk -as a doctor, I will be both a "healer" and a "professional" -this was the lesson of the day, which connected to the "small group sessions" where we were put in random groups of about 16 (a mix of Med, Med-P and Dent students) to discuss Physicianship ethical / moral issues for about an hour and a half or so -this will be our group for the year -with a family medicine/Ob/Gyn/head of clinical clerkships doctor (this person will apparently be different every week) to lead the discussion session. This recalls "section" at Harvard. Very much so. No pompousness has emerged yet, but it's still early in the year -someone's going to be that kid and we all know it, right. This may sound skeptical, but it was actually quite a good class -and so far, I kinda liked everyone in our group okay.

Stomachs hollow and angry, we then set off for the Physicianship Apprenticeship Luncheon (PA is not to be confused with general Physicianship and other courses in this area). The group we were assigned to here is 6 fellow Med or Med-P students with whom we will regularly meet for the next 4 years, along with a doctor in charge of the group (our's is a hematologist at MGH -that is, Montreal General Hospital, not Mass General), and 2 co-leaders who are 3rd and 4th-year med students. We will be meeting on a regular basis and for the first year, pairs of us will be assigned a real live patient to 'follow', interviewing them about their health/illness experience (kind of like medical anthropological ethnography if you ask me -which is wonderful!). The point of all this Physicianship stuff, which I love and for which I totally respect McGill, is to train us to never forget about the patient's role in the diagnoses we will make, and in their own healing -to remember that ultimately, patients are people, individuals, not just 'bodies', the converse view being a common obstacle for much of medical training in the Western world, resulting in a poor doc-patient relationship. Kudos to Sir William Osler (whom I will now endearingly call 'Will') for inspiring such care in this regard of medical training here. Anyway, I will likely be 'pairing up' with one of the "my people" friends I made last night who ended up being in the same group, which is sweet -meeting other new people is wonderful, but for long-term 'projects' like this, if you can work with "your people" I think you're much better off. But we will see.

Now, 2 Majoryly Majorly COOL things:

1. Our 4th year co-leader is starting her neurosurgery clerkship (McGill speak for 'rotation') this fall and there is a good chance that our group will be able to watch from that viewing balcony area (just like in Grey's Anatomy... I know, it's a sad day when even med students can't help with the pop culture references) = Coolest thing ever!

2. Subsequent to this Luncheon, some of "my people" and I went on a tour of the Medical Simulation Center, where there are actual beds, real medical equipment, a mock OR room, with manaquins hooked up to machines, and then "complications" are simulated for med students, doctors, nurses and other healthcare professionals who work with patients to practice with, thus mitigating the high rate of error that has been known to occur in these cases in real life (this is the function of the Center, apart from just being cool, and so Spa-like in setting, which is ironic because it's cleaner and spiffier than any hospital room I've ever seen in Montreal!). I am excited to bits about eventually practicing in this place. They also have 200 actors in their database who come in and simulate various medical conditions / difficult patients etc, and not only will we be practicing with them, but these situations will end up being our "practical" exams as well. Anyway, SO SO SO COOOOL!

Finally, tonight, Pub Crawl was okay, dancing at the Club at the end was much more fun, having to take detours around all the highway and street construction work in order to drive downtown for said evening activities = less fun, but instructive. Also, I got my package in the mail from Forever 21 which was nice.

But medicine and med school, seems to me like lots of work, lots of play, lots of FREE, and lots and lots of COOLness.

P.S. strangely enough, thought you should know that some of "my people" look freakishly similar (though not the same) to Megan Powell and Firth McEachern..

Medical Salad and Mexican Sun

Salad Day

Today was my first day of medical school. Well, sort of. Technically, it was just the first day of registration/orientation. Three words: Exhilarating, Exhausting and Shock.

It was wonderful to meet so many new people, from different cultural and educational backgrounds; amazing to see ghosts from the past (high school and CEGEP ghosts) who are simultaneously changed and the same; lovely hearing the history of medicine at mcgill and in montreal talk in the PM; fabulous loading up on freebies dime-by-the-doz; and yes, nice to see a few cuties in the mix (if we're being completely honest here). But man, I am dead tired from running around campus on our "Amazing Race" to the "Temple of Frosh", up and down Montreal's notorious hilly streets which infest McGill's otherwise gorgeous campus; energetically spent from being socially "on" for 7 hours straight, including dealing with the odd poor (and usually obnoxious) reaction to the H-bomb (alas, it is no myth my friends, even when you do your darndest to conceal or play it down, ultimately they will know, and try to punish you for their own insecurities -not everyone though of course, not even most people, but definitely a countable few); and thoroughly fatigued from lugging around aforementioned freebies all day long on my right shoulder.

So what's the Shock? Oh My Dear God, I am in Medical School and There is Going to be a Shitload of Work I Really Hope I'm Ready and Can Handle It and I Am Not Familiar With Much -Not This Campus, Not These People, Not Even The Curriculum Structure, Not a Touchstone or Security Blanket of Good Old Familiar Comfort. Maybe it's just premature panic. And then REASON kicks in: You've done this before and you'll do it again, and you'll love it. And. Pish-posh about familiarity! Give it a couple of days, and anyway, YOU will always be YOU and THAT can always be counted upon. But surely once I'm "settled" all will again be well with the world.

Mexican Heat

Imagine this, on my flight back to Montreal from Cancun airport:

We're flying high up, gliding over a bed of frothy clouds, American fields, waters and urban sprawl down below. I'm so excited to be on my way back home, Mexico far behind. The resort in Tulum was actually okay, but the season was too hot and humid and the place was infested with mosquitoes. We did have the cliche white, sandy beaches, expanse of turquoise and azul ocean, straw parasols, vacations lazies, bright blue four-foot deep swimming pools, never-ending cocktails (mostly Virgin obvi), salty fish and nachos. Almost bliss.

Mostly Virgin cocktails quickly became only sprite and water when my stomach decided to go thin and fragile the day after the wedding. It wasn't the food or drink, pretty sure it was the heat of which my body had had enough. The wedding at dusk on the beach was lovely, as was reading chick-lit and real lit on the beach, and sipping my Shirley Temples with lime. Loved dancing the night away (swing-style) with the groom's seven year-old cousin. The buffet was surprisingly good at the resort -my favourite was the caramelized waffle cup filled with whipped cream and slices of fresh mango, cactus fruit and strawberry -yum! There were a ton of Iggies and Lizzies (the reptiles, not the adorable puppet from the hit '90s kid TV show, "Under the Umbrella Tree"), but luckily, none in our room!

We also went on a great breezy boat tour, stopping at the Mayan ruins of Tulum and its sparkling-perfect beach (too hot to visit Chichen-Itza unfort.), as well as spent a few hours at Playa del Carmen, where we "shopped" (mine consisted of 3 postcards and a key chain).

In Summary...

All in all, a nice getaway, but I was so ready to come home, hug my family a ton, get back in the driver's seat of our old Honda Civic and eat home-cooked meals. I also missed Turkey a lot when I was in Mexico which is strange, but then, I'm always missing Turkey.

After today, I came home and thought, aw shucks, I miss Harvard. Not because it was "Harvard", but because it was the first home I had to make for myself, after only knowing the one I had been born into -I missed my old life, my friends, my profs, K-house, "shopping period" (goodness, what a luxury that was!) and last, but certainly not least, Boston Tea Stop. That's it. The big solution. I gotta get me some boba / bubble tea around here.

P.S. would you believe it, but today I met the male version of my name -"Niall" pronounced "nile" -who even knew it could be. We are now BFF. JK, JK, but seriously, that's just crazy.

Paperback Love and Then Some

I have decided that the summer does indeed go by fast. But also, I'm just about ready to start the new life with my crimson-red stethoscope.

Books are lovely things, and I happily spent nearly four hours in Chapters (Barnes & Noble's, Canadian Edition, for all my American peeps) yesterday, when I was in Ottawa, reading the backs of a bjillion novels on the fiction floor and trying to resist the urge to buy out the whole store, which is actually really hard. In order to achieve this last, I found that by jotting down the titles and authors of books I wanted to read in my handy notebook, I was more easily able to release the slew of them from between my fingers and slip them back onto their shelves, so that they might beckon to another, less cheap book-lover. I must admit that the 30% price differential between buying books in the U.S. and Canada, when the Canadian dollar is practically par, just makes me absolutely livid. Anyhow, at the end of it, I was still suckered in by immediacy, purchasing 3 books after reading the first chapter of each to ensure that I would not regret spending a small fortune. I bought Orhan Pamuk's The White Castle, which is fabulous (so far anyway), as well as some light summer reading for Mexico (I leave in 2 days!) -namely, Confessions of a Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella and Me and Mr. Darcy by Alexandra Potter. Don't worry, there is also some Sylvia Plath (The Bell Jar) and Ethan Canin (America America) on my reading list... it's unfortunate that proper literature must cost a proper dime. But well, proper literature all the time just wouldn't be proper either (I really want to read The Virgin's Lover by the beezys' beloved Philippa Gregory).

I must confess though, I did not travel all the way to Ottawa just to peruse through paperbacks (this took place during a long bout of rain) -and earlier, I had gone with my sister and her British friend to visit the Parliament buildings, go up the Peace Tower, walk some ways along the Rideau Canal and Sparks Street, and at long last, eat noodles from a box (just like in the movies!). A pleasant day trip, really. Conked out easy when I came home that night too.

It's been nice catching up with old friends after a long time -did a bit more of that today and have been doing it a bit more each week this summer (or at least this past week) -it's comforting and lovely to be able to pick up right where you left off and forget about all the months and years that passed in between, talking about adventure, great love, and personal discovery instead. Ah, well.

Mexico is just two days away -and I've heard the Mayan Riviera is supposed to be really amazing. Psyched.

Grand Indeed

… was the Grandest of all Canyons! Stunning really –just hugely gorgeous, an awesome natural wonder that is so magnificent, it knocks the wind straight out of you. Barely glimpsed the Colorado River from the South Rim whirlwind tour we took, but still, rubbing our eyes in the blinding sunlight, pinching ourselves in the scorching heat, making sure it wasn’t just a mirage. When I go back, I really want to go white water rafting on the Colorado –you know, get right inside of it – ’must be absolutely spectacular! My aunt and grandmother from Vancouver ended up joining my mother and I in Sedona, Arizona (which was the home base for our 5 day trip, where seeing the Grand Canyon was just a one-day thing). It was a lovely surprise. We lived it up in our opulent four-star West Sedona hotel (yeah Expedia hotel deals!!!), taking advantage of the spa and pool facilities (even enjoying massages, steam rooms, Jacuzzis, cucumber and lemon water, lobby fountains… I tell ya, this is the life we were all meant to lead –one of relaxed contentment). Of course, we only did this when we weren’t exploring Sedona (which is breathtaking in itself, with its Red Rock “vortexes”, canyons, creeks, and little town) or visiting Grand Canyon.

After a rather long and turbulent journey (beginning at 2 AM when I drove us from Montreal to Burlington, VT (which by the way really has the cutest little airport) from where we took a plane to Chicago, followed by another flight to L.A. and then another to Flagstaff, AZ, this last being so choppy you literally felt like you were on a roller-coaster), we all kinda just chilled out at the hotel, going for a refreshing swim in their pool, lazing in the hot tub and having dinner at Red’s (the hotel restaurant) –a nice rib-eye steak and crème brulée for dessert –and then getting an early night.

The next morning, after a hearty breakfast, we set off on our audio-guided, otherwise self-navigated tour (you play the tour CD as you drive around) of the sights of Sedona. We (well, mostly just me –the altitude of over 4000 ft. above sea-level was a bit much for my grandmother, and the heat was somewhat overwhelming for my aunt and mother) then made stops and did little hikes, amidst Prickly Pear cactus and Juniper trees, up Bell Rock, Cathedral Rock, Airport Rock, the Chapel of the Holy Cross (which is a serene Catholic monument built right into the natural red rock of the area –a Frank Lloyd Wright piece, incidentally –I swear, it moves you to tears the moment you enter –quite a special place!). We also drove by a bunch of other places, including the windy road along Oak Creek Canyon, and to the sacred Native American Boynton Canyon, keeping an eye out for ‘shapes’ in the rocks –like a ‘sleeping elephant’, ‘sky-gazer’, ‘Snoopy’, ‘tea pot’, ‘chimney’, etc. By the end of that day, we were shedding what looked like eraser shavings, namely dust mixed with sunscreen and dry skin, exhausted, but satisfied, and happy to enjoy a delicious dinner (I had Cajun Shrimp and Scallops with rice) at Judi’s, a local favourite.

The following day was our Grand Canyon Tour –everything felt a bit rushed, but for our situation, it really was the best option. Some great views, and a stop right at the beginning to watch the eighties IMAX film on Grand Canyon, as well as a historically, geologically, herbologically and in-other-ways informed (what sticks out most in my memory was the explanation of ways to get right into Grand Canyon –unfortunately, our own experience was not quite so interactive with this ancient, majestic place –particularly, the treacherous and stamina-requiring mule-rides –did you know that mules were a cross of a jackass and a mare, and that they are sterile?) and funny, old tour guide, a gourmet lunch at the famous El Tovar hotel’s restaurant, some light shopping on the Navajo Indian reservation and such (I had some ‘opinions’ about the state of affairs of all this –really you’d think the government could do just a bit better for a people that have contributed to the cultivation of such a rich cultural history!) –arriving back in time for dinner at the only Chinese restaurant in Sedona (which had some pretty awesome Chow Mein).

The next day we kinda just chilled out –it was our Spa day (already described somewhat) –three of us had a sugar-shea-butter body treatment, which was amazing, especially as I’ve never had anything like it before! Also, I had never been in a steam room before –you don’t really feel like you’re going to suffocate and die as much as I thought you would –actually, once you get used to it, it’s even quite pleasant, and when you come out, your soft skin glows beautifully! Before that, we explored Tlaquepaque, which is the artist gallery village part of town and picked up some fabulous bargain Arizona turquoise, took some fun statuesque photos (we posed with the statues and the fountains –good, silly fun!) and had some refreshing pink lemonade at El Rincor, a Mexican place right in the heart of it. That night we ate at the famous Cowboy Club Silver Saddle restaurant in Uptown (i.e. just ‘town’) Sedona, trying out tender barbequed buffalo brochettes, and cactus fries dipped in a zesty Prickly Pear tequila sauce –really yummy local flavours here (I did not get up the nerve to taste Rattlesnake -as my aunt says, "I can't eat things that could potentially eat me" -that's where we drew the line, much to my mother's adventurous chagrin)!

On our last day, we were up at the crack of dawn to drive grandma and aunt to the airport, and then Mum and I re-visited some of the Red Rock sites, and hiked all the way up Airport Rock just as it began to drizzle, making it back down before any heavy rain. By afternoon, we were on our 24-hour-long journey back home via LAX (lovely Hibiscus and palm trees at the airport by the way, which is officially all that I’ve ever seen of L.A. –the same goes for D.C. sadly), D.C. and Burlington, with delays nearly everywhere.

Nonetheless, a truly, spectacularly, enjoyable trip –arriving happily home to the much-missed father and younger sister, and her two house-guests, including le boyfriend, and la British friend –both sweet and lovely people. Goodness, can’t believe over two thirds of my last real summer are over. What a good way to have it though. And still more to go with the Mexican Mayan Riviera coming up in just over a week! ’Hope you enjoyed this first adventurous taste of my post-grad summer.

Flowers outside the Chapel of the Holy Cross: "Please don't pick us, we're smiling at God..."

Settling In, Anticipating Adventure

At long last, the cleaning and organizing of my bedroom has been completed. 4 donation bags, 5 garbage bags, and countless hours later, it is now very warm, and cozy and orderly, just the way I like it to be. This is why I have not posted in over a week -I apologize for my irregularity. It was worth it though, I won't lie. Nothing like straightening out all that outward chaos for the calming of inner mess. In a way it's like summer is only really starting now, even though we are half-way through.

I woke up early today and had slept quite badly last night due to bizarre lifeguarding dreams with loonies playing with children's lives -unsettling indeed. But then I had a lovely breakfast of homemade cheese straws and banana bread with Earl Grey tea. Oh, Beezys, did you know that in Swahili 'nbizi' means 'banana'? I learned that from my sister's boyfriend, who, incidentally, arrived yesterday to visit her for about a week or so, and has just spent the last few weeks between Tanzania, Kenya, England and Portugal (lucky dude right ;). Anyway, here I am typing away on my bed, with classical music playing in the background (like real classical music -Tchaikovsky, Bizet, Bach, Dvorak -none of that New Age stuff, although I do enjoy that as well oftentimes). I actually took my sweet time meticulously painting my toenails (yeah. really. but this is what it means to 'relax' right?), put on some of my brand new clothes and went for a walk before lunch, picking up my newly-hemmed, new pants from the dry cleaners (story of my shortness in life) on the way back home.

I also window-shopped online for a new laptop since mine is mid-death at present (constant, repeated crashing, but it still turns on -luckily sufficient warning that I have backed it up well). For a while I considered switching to a Mac, but then remembered how much I dislike the Apple interface. The new Dell Inspirons are beautiful though and you can get a 14' that weighs about 5 lbs -not light, but not too extremely heavy either. There's also the Dell XPS M1330 which is thinner and lighter, but with a 13-inch screen, which equals tiny keyboard, my fingers would get too squished. And the last thing a potential-future-surgeon needs is hand-tendinitis, right. Anyway, if you have any suggestions for me, please share!

Oh, so I forgot to mention a few things: firstly, I attended my first bachelorette party shortly after Independence Day (this is a shout-out to my US affiliations -what can I do, it's part of me now right, might as well embrace it for all the good I got out of it for 4 years!) and it was crazy fun! I will not go into details here, but will share what I thought was the ultimate highlight: making the bride-to-be wear a candy-bra gag-gift over her clothing, and then traipse around downtown Montreal, selling bites for $1 from the back, or for $2 from the front, raking in over $35, including donations from policemen and hot firemen (who, unfortunately, did not bite off any candy though, since they were in uniform) -not too shabby at all. And also, really not as shady as it sounds -the streets were packed with many other bachelorettes and bachelors to-be doing all kinds of crazy stuff, and there were like 10 of us girls to 'fend off' weirdos and get on our victims' case about 'the rules' (like hands behind your back when you bite, pay first, bite second, etc).

Also, August Rush is a fabulous movie -great music, Robin Williams, Felicity (Keri Russell) and and the "Coach" from Bend It Like Beckham (aka Henry VIII on "The Tudors", Jonathan Rhys Myers), some good acting on the part of the main kid, cheesy story, but the script is not half bad, and overall, highly, highly enjoyable! Also, The Jane Austen Book Club, is a sweet chick flick.

Oooh, Bach's Brandenburg Concerto -'love it (playing now, which means I have been updating you here for way too long!).

Tomorrow night (well, technically, very early Wednesday morning), Mum and I leave for Arizona (via Burlington, Chicago and LA... we will, inshallah, get there eventually though!) -so excited to visit the Grand Canyon, as well as Cathedral Rock in Sedona. The weather forecast has some rain with thunder, but hopefully that'll clear up by Thursday! My real, grand summer adventures are about to begin -what's not to look forward to, eh?

If I love you, keep reading...

If not, please stop -your behaviour is considered "sketchy". If this is making you uncomfortable because you're not quite sure which category you fit into, rest assured, I'll help you figure it out. If you received an e-mail inviting you to partake of my life through the Old City Fountain, or if you are a family member, or if you know in your heart of hearts that I meant to include you in my e-mail and only forgot out of brain clumsiness, then please stay, please read, always, of course -you are in the "loved" category! If you are a publisher, you are also in the "loved" category. However, if you're here through other stalker-like tendencies, go away. Go away now.

Okay, thanks.

To the "loved": Sorry about that. Just had to get that out in the open because I actually met one such person not too long ago and it totally freaked me out. Not rando-randos, but acquaintance- randos, whose intent is well, let's just say unclear for diplomacy's sake, which of course is kind of unnerving nonetheless.

It has been a long time since I last posted -and a lot has changed since the last post. Namely, I finished the last Harry Potter, I painted my bedroom a lovely light yellow, with a beautiful strip of wallpaper around the middle that is a "scenery" that looks much like Captain von Trapp's river banks landscape (sort of) with crimson, dare I say, Harvard-looking buildings (well, it's probably the fact that they're crimson that is particularly reminiscent of Cambridge, Mass.) in the distance, pink magnolia bushes, and trees on the banks. The Canada Day fireworks / light show yesterday were pretty good. Jazz Fest started on the 26th and I only went on the 28th -flaking out early indeed, I'd say, especially since it's the only time I've been yet. Lio! or as Thea Vula would say (from My Big Fat Greek Wedding), "Woe to me!" However, I am determined to catch some more of it before it ends on Sunday -this is a promise (to myself, obvi). Community projects also underway (cross fingers all goes well).

Sadly, the real writing has been on hiatus. How is there just no time now that the back is nearly all better? Ironic, eh. Grand Canyon trip just a couple weeks away though... maybe it will be inspiring.

Loving hugs and hugging loveds --

Tales from a Dark Place

Prologue

Well, not really dark, at least not where I am. But since being laid up with this back thing (yes, still, which means that in general, my life and I have also been quite still), I haven't had exciting adventures to recount. I finished reading Harry Potter "the Sixth", have begun reading Harry Potter "the Seventh" by day, and Atul Gawande's Complications by night. Every couple of days, I'll get out of the house. Otherwise, I look forward to late night re-runs of "Sex and the City", or discovering new reality TV shows like "Hell's Kitchen" (a good one, I must admit). I watched the Beezys (my College roommates) iMovie last night. Mmmm, nostalgia. Right now, I'm enjoying a delicious bowl of peanut butter corn (recipe at the bottom for all my dear friends who have just entered the real-world of Cooking For Oneself), and I know what you're thinking -if she snaps a photo of her lunch and posts it to this blog, then what really is the difference between the summer 2006 "stories" and this so-called "new" version? Don't worry, no photos of my food (unless I concoct something worthy of "Hell's Kitchen").

The Tale

But now I have an entertaining story for you (based on elaborated imaginative extensions of my sister's true story a couple nights ago). She went with a friend of hers to this restaurant in downtown Montreal called Au Noir. Basically, you enter a dimly lit foyer where you can look at a menu and decide what you want, or be a little adventurous and order the "surprise" meal (having informed your blind waiter or waitress -yes, they are all blind -of any allergies and other dietary restrictions, obvi). You are then led into a pitch black, dark restaurant where you are seated and where you will eat. There is one small little orange dot of a light over the exit, but apparently, still not enough light for you to eventually "adjust to the dark". My sister thought it was a flashing light, but it turned out to be her friend's head rocking back and forth in front of the light. People are talking and as the girls await their meals, they suddenly hear a splash and the couple sitting across from them suddenly stop their chatter, and ask (very concerned and panicked), "Is anyone wet?" Apparently a glass was knocked over. I know, I too was surprised no one knocked anything over before they were even seated.

My sister then hears some shuffling of feet behind her, and then a gentle thud on the ground. What fell down? Some scrambling, and then a second later, their waitress' voice behind them, "Here's the bread" as she sets the basket down in front of them. If you ask me, I think they were served fallen-on-the-ground bread. And I'm sure nothing could really be done about it either way right. Think about it. Suppose my sister said, "Nice try -you just dropped that bread, bring us a new basket". I mean, the waitress could have nicely said, "Of course, sorry" and having taken back the bread basket, remained standing behind them silently, counting to thirty, and then put the same basket back on the table. How does one regulate these things in the dark? They couldn't suddenly turn on the lights -imagine how humiliating it would be for the guy picking his nose across from his date, or the woman falling asleep in the midst of her dull husband's monotone monologue, or the girl about to leave her unsuspecting companion dine-and-dash style (cf. "That 70s Show"), so that they would be left with the bill? No, that would not do. I do hear there are lights in the bathroom and kitchen though, just in case you were wondering, but I am still puzzled as to how this kind of a place is inspected during operation hours.

Anyway, at long last the dinners arrive, and my sister and her friend scrape their forks and knives on their plates trying to feel out their food. Finally, my sister finds her meat and cuts a "piece", not realizing that in fact, this "piece" is half of the veal (she found out what she had ordered afterwards), which she then attempted to feed her friend as a "taste", and after spent a significant amount of time, looking for "where the food was" on her plate, confusedly. Then, of course, my sister also orders the "surprise dessert" which turns out to be some delicious chocolatey thing. Apparently though, the whole experience was "cool" and the food was quite good -clearly not everyone's cup of tea though, as this tale makes evident. My parents and I, especially upon contemplating the various possible scenarios, found it as hilarious as it seemed sketchy. I conclude: a good place to play a nasty prank!

Epilogue

Well now, not to worry, there will be adventure in my own summer too: my tickets to Flagstaff, Arizona are booked for mid-July and I will indeed be seeing (inshallah) the Grand Canyon. Also, for a week at the beginning of August I will be at a Mayan Riviera resort in Mexico for my best friend's brother's wedding. So excitement that belongs to me is on its way, I promise.

P.S. Recipe for Peanut Butter Corn:

1. Bit of olive oil in a pan or small pot, when it's hot, throw in some (maybe 1/3-1/2 of a tsp?) of each cumin seed, mustard seed, fenugrek seed, dried lemon leaves (if you can't find this last, no worries)
   
2. Let them go sizzle-sizzle, then add a large can of corn (drain the liquid) or frozen corn, 1/2 tsp salt or to taste, 1 tsp lemon juice, a 1/4 tsp of tumeric powder, 1/2 tsp of cumin powder, 1 tbsp of chopped or dried coriander, stir stir stir
3. Optional: add half a chopped tomato (my mum likes adding tomato, you could even add a tbsp of tomato paste I think)
4. Add a couple of generous tbsp of peanut butter, stir stir stir and simmer simmer
   

Summer Musings: Anticipating Adventure

First and foremost, I have a confession to make: I have caved into Harry Potter, the books. I've been a long-time fan of Harry Potter, the movies, and so, upon arriving back in Montreal and not being able to do much due to some temporary back pain (which, I have an inkling, should be soon recovered -I have had enough, frankly), I proceeded to watch all 5 movies over the course of 3 days. And there's nothing like watching them all in a row to give the story more coherence, as well as make you dying to know what's going to happen next. So, I have begun reading Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (the "Sixth").

Now, as a self-proclaimed writer, I know this seems shameless -how is it possible that I was ever satisfied with just watching the movies when we all know the book is almost always better than the movie? Well, I read the first one many years ago, and didn't think much of it, from a literary perspective (call me a snob if you will), and never really felt the need to read the rest of the series. Perhaps hearing JK at Commencement inspired this new need to read what happens next. And I must say (though really, who am I to say it right), "the Sixth" appears to be much better written than "the First" -maybe Max was right in saying that her writing matures with the story.

So I am reading. I will also be writing (obvi). And purging my old bedroom of my old life and childish, dated things -time to start afresh. There will be new paint on the walls too -hopefully a nice, soft yellow. The Festival International de Jazz de Montreal will be awesome. Seriously, here is (yet another display of shamelessness) my plug for the biggest and best international jazz fest in the world (taken from the website, with some added commentary of my own):

"The gigantic summer music celebration features 11 days of non-stop entertainment, from noon to midnight, right in the heart of downtown Montreal. Several city blocs are closed to traffic [and there are 10 FREE open-air stages! For reals, you don't wanna miss this], as right of way is given exclusively to pedestrians, creating a festive and secure spot with cafés and bistros, an art gallery, street performers and a musical park for children. It’s the summer celebration par excellence for people of all ages and origins, a cultural breath of fresh air, and a place for incredible musical discoveries with influence such as JAZZ, BLUES, LATIN-JAZZ, BRAZILIAN, CUBAN, AFRICAN, REGGAE, CONTEMPORARY, ELECTRONICA [there's also some hard Rock] ..."

And of course there will be lots of famous people. And of course there will be me! So come up and visit sometime during June 26 - July 6, and check out the website for more info: http://www.montrealjazzfest.com/Fijm2008/accueil_en.aspx

Okay. Also I have been flirting with the idea of making a short visit to Arizona in July to see the Grand Canyon. Yay, mini-adventures. Books and "the type" -adventures of the mind; jazz in the old city -adventure for the spirit and the heart; the Grand Canyon -probably one of the ultimate adventures period. Am I wrong?

And she smiled, satisfied, excited and happy, as one of her favourite Turkish pop (2007) songs by Mustafa Sandal began to play on her sister's iPod, taking her back through a whorl of memories in that beloved far-yet-not-so-far-away land.

Uncertain Beginnings

Aren't they all? But exciting too -of course.

I thought the blogger's life was over for me, that it was a sweet, short, summer 2006 fad. Not so though, obviously, because here I am, barely a week out of College and antsy as ever to be known through "the type" (we are in a cyber-age, thusly, to say "the pen" seems antiquated). So, as a good friend aptly put it, and as Harvard has put it for centuries, upon obtaining my undergraduate degree, I now "Commence" the rest of my life, Cambridge and Boston behind me (well, technically, South of me), medical school and a world of unknowns before me, back home, here in Montreal.

I am a purple pebble -a small thing in this vast Universe, that has learned exactly what they say education is supposed to teach you, that really, even though you feel like you learned so much, you don't know much. But luckily, I love discovery, I am always growing -inshallah, growing more interesting -and changing. A violet transformation. Fitting eh? Also my love for purple dates back to awkward childhood, and really, 'pebble' is just such a cute word.

I always liked the idea of skipping pebbles (I don't actually know how to skip them though). One of my sweetest Turkish memories (apart from rice pudding and baklava) was watching an old man teach his young grandson how to skip pebbles on the turquoise and opal-milky waters of Lake Egirdir right before sunset. Some skip lots, some go quite far, some sink down early, some just don't skip. Like great love, great success, great deception and great failure. Professor Ben Shahar's mantra would ring sonorous and serene during my last semester, "Learn to fail, or fail to learn." JK Rowling said nearly the same beautiful thing at Commencement, adding some saffron spice to her life-advice by emphasizing the importance of imagination for human compassion. Seems to me an appropriate world view to carry along as I stand here gaping in fear, awe and anticipation at Medicine's threshold.

The Old City -not Rome, nor Istanbul, nor Cordoba, but my Old City, my Montreal, my home. This time will be different because cities, like people, are dynamic and changing. And there is much to be discovered here these next 4 years. If you know Montreal though, you know it's an Island, surrounded by rivers and the St. Lawrence -there aren't really any famous piazza fountains. Bubbling sanctuaries are the stuff of Ancient stories, but well, here you go, my e-sanctuary, if you will.

Here's to skipping my first pebble, however uncertainly.