Tales from a Dark Place

Prologue

Well, not really dark, at least not where I am. But since being laid up with this back thing (yes, still, which means that in general, my life and I have also been quite still), I haven't had exciting adventures to recount. I finished reading Harry Potter "the Sixth", have begun reading Harry Potter "the Seventh" by day, and Atul Gawande's Complications by night. Every couple of days, I'll get out of the house. Otherwise, I look forward to late night re-runs of "Sex and the City", or discovering new reality TV shows like "Hell's Kitchen" (a good one, I must admit). I watched the Beezys (my College roommates) iMovie last night. Mmmm, nostalgia. Right now, I'm enjoying a delicious bowl of peanut butter corn (recipe at the bottom for all my dear friends who have just entered the real-world of Cooking For Oneself), and I know what you're thinking -if she snaps a photo of her lunch and posts it to this blog, then what really is the difference between the summer 2006 "stories" and this so-called "new" version? Don't worry, no photos of my food (unless I concoct something worthy of "Hell's Kitchen").

The Tale

But now I have an entertaining story for you (based on elaborated imaginative extensions of my sister's true story a couple nights ago). She went with a friend of hers to this restaurant in downtown Montreal called Au Noir. Basically, you enter a dimly lit foyer where you can look at a menu and decide what you want, or be a little adventurous and order the "surprise" meal (having informed your blind waiter or waitress -yes, they are all blind -of any allergies and other dietary restrictions, obvi). You are then led into a pitch black, dark restaurant where you are seated and where you will eat. There is one small little orange dot of a light over the exit, but apparently, still not enough light for you to eventually "adjust to the dark". My sister thought it was a flashing light, but it turned out to be her friend's head rocking back and forth in front of the light. People are talking and as the girls await their meals, they suddenly hear a splash and the couple sitting across from them suddenly stop their chatter, and ask (very concerned and panicked), "Is anyone wet?" Apparently a glass was knocked over. I know, I too was surprised no one knocked anything over before they were even seated.

My sister then hears some shuffling of feet behind her, and then a gentle thud on the ground. What fell down? Some scrambling, and then a second later, their waitress' voice behind them, "Here's the bread" as she sets the basket down in front of them. If you ask me, I think they were served fallen-on-the-ground bread. And I'm sure nothing could really be done about it either way right. Think about it. Suppose my sister said, "Nice try -you just dropped that bread, bring us a new basket". I mean, the waitress could have nicely said, "Of course, sorry" and having taken back the bread basket, remained standing behind them silently, counting to thirty, and then put the same basket back on the table. How does one regulate these things in the dark? They couldn't suddenly turn on the lights -imagine how humiliating it would be for the guy picking his nose across from his date, or the woman falling asleep in the midst of her dull husband's monotone monologue, or the girl about to leave her unsuspecting companion dine-and-dash style (cf. "That 70s Show"), so that they would be left with the bill? No, that would not do. I do hear there are lights in the bathroom and kitchen though, just in case you were wondering, but I am still puzzled as to how this kind of a place is inspected during operation hours.

Anyway, at long last the dinners arrive, and my sister and her friend scrape their forks and knives on their plates trying to feel out their food. Finally, my sister finds her meat and cuts a "piece", not realizing that in fact, this "piece" is half of the veal (she found out what she had ordered afterwards), which she then attempted to feed her friend as a "taste", and after spent a significant amount of time, looking for "where the food was" on her plate, confusedly. Then, of course, my sister also orders the "surprise dessert" which turns out to be some delicious chocolatey thing. Apparently though, the whole experience was "cool" and the food was quite good -clearly not everyone's cup of tea though, as this tale makes evident. My parents and I, especially upon contemplating the various possible scenarios, found it as hilarious as it seemed sketchy. I conclude: a good place to play a nasty prank!

Epilogue

Well now, not to worry, there will be adventure in my own summer too: my tickets to Flagstaff, Arizona are booked for mid-July and I will indeed be seeing (inshallah) the Grand Canyon. Also, for a week at the beginning of August I will be at a Mayan Riviera resort in Mexico for my best friend's brother's wedding. So excitement that belongs to me is on its way, I promise.

P.S. Recipe for Peanut Butter Corn:

1. Bit of olive oil in a pan or small pot, when it's hot, throw in some (maybe 1/3-1/2 of a tsp?) of each cumin seed, mustard seed, fenugrek seed, dried lemon leaves (if you can't find this last, no worries)
   
2. Let them go sizzle-sizzle, then add a large can of corn (drain the liquid) or frozen corn, 1/2 tsp salt or to taste, 1 tsp lemon juice, a 1/4 tsp of tumeric powder, 1/2 tsp of cumin powder, 1 tbsp of chopped or dried coriander, stir stir stir
3. Optional: add half a chopped tomato (my mum likes adding tomato, you could even add a tbsp of tomato paste I think)
4. Add a couple of generous tbsp of peanut butter, stir stir stir and simmer simmer